"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"

The professor was giving the final lecture of the term. He spoke about students work and asked them to prepare for the final examination well. He said, "The examination papers are now in the hands of the printer. Are there any questions?"
There was

Teacher: Tommy, you're late for the school again. In fact, you are late every day.
Tommy: I'm sorry, sir. But I won't be late tomorrow.
Teacher: Nice to hear that. But can you tell me why?
Tommy: Because it's Sunday tomorrow.

"I have a problem," said Jack. "Every time I go to the movies,
a fat lady sits next to me and munches popcorn through the whole
show."
"Why don't you change seats?" asked his friend John.
"I can't. She is my wife." 　
一个难

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes,

During our first three days at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, we were herded from place to place for haircuts, shots and uniforms. Back in our barracks, the drill instructor told us to put on our uniforms and fall out in front of the building. Som

One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: " How long will this pair of shoes last?
"It depends. If you don't use it, the shoes will never wear out."
Several days later the

"My friend, I say I had some trouble." A man said to his friend, " yesterday I had words with my wife. After that she punched the door and rushed out angrily with the word that she would live with her mother. Please help me. Is this a promise or a threat?"

Jimmy: Tommy's mother won't let him keep frogs at their house, so he found some water to put them in.
Mother: Oh, that's fine. Where did he find the water?
Jimmy: In our bathtub. 　
在咱们家的浴缸里。 　
吉米：汤米的妈妈不让他在家里样青蛙，所以他又找了个

Teacher: What's your favourite state,Tommy?
Tommy: Mississippi.
Teacher: Then spell it.
Tommy: I changed my mind. I like Ohio much better. 　
密西西比和俄亥俄 　
老师：汤米，你最喜欢哪个州？
汤米：密西西比。
老师：那么，把它拼写出来。
汤米：我改变主意了。我还是比较喜

Doctor: What's your average weight?
Patient: I have no idea.
Doctor: Well, what do you think is the most you have ever weighed?
Patient: I'd say about one hundred and fifty-four pounds.
Doctor: Good. And what do you think is the least you have ever

Jimmy and Tommy went off on their bikes for a picnic in the woods. They had one bottle of lemonade between then. Jimmy went to explore while Tommy unpacked the food. When he returned, he found the bottle was empty.
"Hey!" he exclaimed crossly. "Half of

A schoolgirl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her.
"Kate!" called the teacher sharply.
"Yes, sir?" questioned the girl.
"Take that gum out of your mouth and put your

Ma: Pa, I don't think the neighbors like the new drum we got Johnny for Christmas.
Pa: Why not?
Ma: They gave him a knife and asked him if he knew what was in the drum. 　
刀和鼓
妈：他爸，我怎么觉得咱们的邻居非常不喜欢咱们圣诞节时给约翰尼买的新鼓呢。
爸：为

Teacher: Give me a sentence starting with I, Tommy.
Tommy: Yes, sir. I is...
Teacher: No, no, Tommy! Don't say "I is", you should say "I am".
Tommy: All right, sir. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. 　
我是字母表中的第九个字母。