What time is it now?
The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud."
"How will that help?" said the second boy.   

Six or Twelve?
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever ea

Sunset
Father: This is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know.
Friend: Ah, that accounts for it! I never saw a sunset like that in this country.
日落
父亲：这幅《日落》是我女儿画的，你知道，她曾在国外学过画画。
朋友：啊，怪不得！

Not too Bad
"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"
"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."
不算太坏
“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”
“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”
When a Tiger comes

Big Hands
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
大手
老师：如果我左手有7个橙子，右手有8个橙子，那么我有什么？
学生：一双大手。
What soldiers?
Wife: Dear! Tak

Who's better satisfied?
Who's better satisfied? A  person with six children or a person with $6 million? Why?
The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.
谁更满足？
一个有六个孩子

Who Are Crooks?
A newspaper once carried an editorial which stated bluntly that half the city council were crooks. Under penalty of arrest, the editor issued following retraction: "HALF THE CITY COUNCIL AREN'T CROOKS."
谁是骗子？

Not Knowing Her Well
Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don't you do that too?
Husband: Well, I don't know her very

Contented Married Life
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get

Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
"You talk to people on the telephone an

Bat Problem
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started  I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to

Ashamed Soldier
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them

An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle
Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look.
After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeep

Friend for Dinner
"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

Whose Son Is the Greatest
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor.'"
The second mother went o