Marry Him
Jane loved Tony , but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. "How can I stop Tony spending so much money on me?" She asked her mother.
"Marry him!"
嫁给他
简很爱托尼，但是当他们一起出去的时候，托尼总是大手大脚地

Go Barefoot
In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.
Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one wi

It depends
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends  on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
看情况
旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？
售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道.。
Behind every successful man, there is a man. And behind every

男人man   女人woman
Smart man + smart woman = romance
聪明男人+聪明女人=浪漫爱情
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
聪明男人+笨女人=怀孕
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
笨男人+聪明女人=离婚
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
笨男人+笨女人=结婚
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
聪明老板+聪明员工=利益
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
聪明老板+笨员工=单纯生产

between the ages of 15 - 18 a woman is like china or iran. developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.,
©食品论坛 -- 关注食品安全，探讨食品技术　　NA
　　15-18岁的女人就像中国或者伊朗。潜力大，发展迅速，但在一定程度上，还无法完全的“改革开放”。C_*

Old Man And Donkey
There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.
The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were rig

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。
　　“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”
　　在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。
Early Shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under
Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the
door. But that's a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working
fine."
**********
Tec

Scene: The Wild Web Celebration as Google Buys Deja
www.google.com:　And now, Deja, you are absorbed.
www.deja.com:　Good, I love being called google.　Can I be googleplex?
www.google.com:　No, that is being saved for when we google ourselves.
www.buy.com:　Doesn't anyone want me?
www.pets.com:　Me too?

From: "Mr FBI"
Newsgroups: alt.humor,alt.jokes,alt.tasteless.humor,alt.tasteless.jokes,aus.jokes,eunet.jokes,rec.humor
Subject: Harvard Graduates
Date: Sun, 18 Feb 2001 22:51:44 -0000
Organization: Mystacy Humour group
Two young men who

Signs seen around the World
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE
GUARD ON DUTY
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOME