April Fools
愚人节
A YOUNG blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says,

      A School-report
The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: "English, poor, Franch, weak, mathematics, fair," and he

      　　One guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back? "
The doctor replies, "Try to come home at 3 in the morning."

      　　A lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. She asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. The man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. There, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. She retur

不时听有人讲：“我一看见英语单词头就大，叫我学英语实在是赶鸭子上树。”在某种程度上，这是一个公众性错觉和误解。可能是最初不当的教学方法和学习方法，败坏了你学习的兴致，进而扭曲了你对英语的态度。其实，学习和研究英语词汇是其乐无穷的事情，有时甚至忘了窗外的世界，以致于不知今夕何年。
首先，妙趣横生的发音
英语中有很多叠声词（组），复合词或词组前后发音相近，读起来朗朗上口，富有音乐感。
Tit for tat：针锋相对
Tweedledum and tweedledee：半斤八两
hum and haw：表示犹豫或支吾的嗯嗯呃呃声

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

I Wasn't Asleep
　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
　　　"I wasn't asle

　　Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?
　　Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is t

The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　Where is the father?
　　　 Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
　　　 "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother an

　　Only cash and credit cards
　　　 When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for
　　a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and  number of people.
　　　 " Do you take children?" the man asked.

威廉·福克纳获诺贝尔文学奖受奖演说
Speech Accepting the Nobel Prize in Literature
December 10, 1949 in Stockholm Sweden

乔丹退役演说
Jordan Retirement
 
I am here to announce my retirement from the game of basketball. It won

A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
J Barryomre, American Bctor 
只要一个人还有所追求，他就没有老。直到后悔取代了梦想，一个人才算老。
美国演员 巴里穆尔，J。
And love, young men ,and venerate the ideal. The ideal is the word of G

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.
J. Burroughs. Averican naturalist　
一个人可以失败多次，但是只要他没有开始责怪旁人，他还不是一个失败者。
美国博物学家  巴勒斯. J.　
All of us bear witness to the dissolution of our piece of creation. Only the novel