Correct
　 Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school?
　 Jimmy: I don’t know...
　 Teacher: Correct.
很对
　　教师：吉米，学生在学校里经常用的三个字是什么？
　　吉米：不知道……
　

A Man of Actions
　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this

Who do you think you are?
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.
　　“It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”
　　“I am the driver.” he said.
你以为你是谁？
　　公共汽车上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。
　　“车上太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？”
　　“我是司机！”他说

if I Am a Manager
　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked th

明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：
May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？
小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！

Naomi’s Brazilian Present
BRITISH supermodel Naomi Campbell has sent pal Oprah Winfrey an odd gift - a voucher for a Brazilian wax.
After Oprah a

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
　　 A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
　　 A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可

                          A Letter

A fat lady walked into the dress shop. "I'd like to see a dress that
　　would fit me," she told the clerk.
　　　 "So would I," said the tactless clerk. 
我也是
一个胖女人走进服装店。“我想看一件适合我穿的衣服，”她告诉
　　店员说。
　　　“我也是。”不太老练的店员说道。

      Bob: I had a rough time this morning. The farmer caught me in
one of his peach trees.
　　　 Barbara: Gosh! What did you do?
　　　 Bob: I told him one of his peaches fell down and I was trying to
put it back! 
     

    An American teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?"
The reply was "Washington DC"
On being asked what the "DC" stood for, the pupils all answered：
"Dot com!"

The absent-minded professor shouted: "Kate, come to the blackboard!"
Another student says, "Kate is absent, Professor."
"Silent! Let Kate speak for herself." 　　　

I Hope So
　　Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?
　　Father: I hope so -- he certainly can’t make a living by kissing girls!
我希望如此
　　邻居：您认为您的儿子会把在大学里学的东西全忘光吗？
　　父亲：我希望这样－他当然不能以吻女孩子谋生吧！
NOTE
make

Conduct and Courtesy
Father: The school report gives you a D for conduct and an A for courtesy. How did you manage that?
Cuthbert: Whenever I punch someone, I apologize.
品德与礼貌
父亲：学校的成绩单上给你的品德分是D，礼貌分是A，你这是怎么搞的？
卡斯伯特：无论我什么时候打了人，过后我都会向人家道歉的。
NOT

Comparison
　　Geoffrey says to his father （who is looking at his son’s report card）. "So I don’t get the highest marks in the class, do you get the highest salary in the office?"
比较
　　杰弗里对爸爸说（爸爸正在看儿子地成绩单）：“我在班里没有拿到最高的成绩，那你在单位里拿到最高的薪水了吗？”
NOTE
mark n.
标志, 分数, 痕迹, 记号