"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.
"For her birthday?" she asked.
"No," I replied.
"For your anniversary?"
"No," I said again.
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "I hope she forgives you."
给妻子的玫瑰
一天晚上回家的

"I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?"
"Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."
你认识他吗？
在朋友家的一次宴会上，主人提起一位高中时的校友。一位客人问他读书期间，某位副校长是否也在职。
“当然了，”主人答道。“他是我见过的最大的混蛋。你也认识他吗？”
“有点认识，”客人回答。“我妈妈上周六嫁给了他。”

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would
Press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the Maintenance man would remove them and the next day the
Girls would put them back.
Several memos were posted about this, without effect. Finally the principal decided that somethin

Girls = Time x Money
2: And we all know: time is money
Girls = Money x Money = Money ^2
3: And because money is the root of all evil
Money = Evil ^ 0.5
Therefore:
Girls = (Evil ^ 0.5) ^ 2
4: And we are forced to conclude that
Girls = Evil
See? I told you. :)
--
Whatever life bring

God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men that dominated their women on earth
and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the men
that were whipped was 100 miles long,
a

"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!"
Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets.
"Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation."
An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the birth of his quadruplets. S

The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both

Lady: I'd like to buy a sweater for my dog.

A lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. She asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. The man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. There, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. She returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg. "Lady," he answered, "when you brought the bird, yo

　　"Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her."
　　So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:
"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And just as you said, mother liked her".

They are directly from America

My little dog can't read

Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this l

The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap s