Dating for Mother
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. 　　One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"S

"Marry him!"
最好的办法
玛丽很爱汤姆，但是她对他们一起出去时，汤姆所有乱花的钱很发愁。“我怎么做才能阻止汤姆在我身上花那么多的钱呢？”她问她妈妈。
“嫁给他。”

A medical student doing a rotation in toxicology at a poison control center told this story to his local newspaper.  "Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.  She c

　　When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:
　　"THANKS! WE HAVEN'T LEFT ANYTHING!"
我们什么也没留下
　　布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：“家里没人，请不要留下任何东西！” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句：“谢谢！我们什么也没留下！”

"How about some perfume?", he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.
"That's a bit much", said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit", Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean", said Tim, "is I'd like to see something real

男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don't you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes， and

"What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
猫和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
“盒子里装的是什么？”， 朋友问道。
“一只小猫

最佳时间
老师：从树上摘水果的最佳时间是什么时候？
学生：当看守人不在的时候。

The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father repied. "Don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy ask

Many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."
After several weeks had passed, the

Girl: I'm the principal's daughter.
Boy: And do you know who I am?
Girl: No.
Boy: Thanks goodness.
你知道我是谁吗？
男孩：那个校长难道不是个傻瓜吗？
女孩：喂，你知道我是谁吗？
男孩：不知道。
女孩：我是校长的女儿。
男孩：那么你知道我是谁吗？
女孩：不知道。
男孩：谢天谢地。

Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.
他们都死了
老师：你能告诉我关于18世纪的伟大科学家的一些什么事情吗？
学生：是的，先生。他们都死了。

Girl: Your worries are over.
您的担心结束了
女孩：还记得您总是担心我会搞破的那个花瓶吗？
妈妈：当然啦，怎么啦？
女孩：您的担心结束了。

"Grandma."said the little boy.
"Wait a minute,"said his father."You didn't think I'd let you marry my mother, did you?"
"Why not?"said the little boy."You married mine."
你娶了我的母亲
“爸爸，”小男孩说：“我要结婚。”
“哦！”他父亲开玩笑地说：“你的意中人是谁呢？”
“奶奶。”小男孩说。
“等一下。”他父亲说：“你不会以为我会让你娶我的母亲吧？”
“为什么不呢？”小男孩说：“你娶的就是我母亲。”

"Ok. Come over tonight and catch mice!"
为猫作出补偿
福特先生的汽车从布莱克夫人的猫身上轧了过去，于是他走过去道歉。
“布莱克夫人，我愿以某种方式为那只猫作出补偿。”
“那今天晚上来捉老鼠吧！”